To make the spicy ranch, combine all of its ingredients in a food processor. Process until everything is smooth and uniform. Test to see if you need to add any spices to fit your tastes.
Fill a heavy-bottomed skillet (preferably cast iron) about ½" thick in canola oil. Heat over high-medium-high heat. The oil is ready when you can drizzle a tiny bit of flour over it and it skitters across and evaporates quickly.
Whisk the flour and salt together in a shallow bowl. In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs and milk. Dredge the chicken in the flour, then egg mixture, then flour again. Gently lay in the hot oil, repeating until the pan is full (but not crowded).
Cook the chicken, turning frequently to make sure all sides get the same even coloring. Once they are a deep golden brown and register at no less that 155 degrees Fahrenheit on a digital thermometer, they're finished.
Carefully remove the chicken pieces to a paper towel-lined plate or pan and let drain. Sprinkle with a little bit of salt and pepper while still hot. Repeat this process until all the chicken has been cooked.
Serve the chicken bites hot with the dipping sides and fries (optional). They are best served hot and fresh, but can be reheated easily in the microwave.